Hello!
First, let me tell you how refreshing it is to see a truly good story idea and competent writing. Doesn't happen often here, sadly. Second, I want you to know that your story excites me. The rural, poor areas of India, I believe, face huge humanitarian problems, at least from what I've read, over here in the US. Your perspective as an Indian would be so, so valuable, and in a children's book, where kids can see it through another child's eyes -- it's going to be great.
Anyway, my name is Jackie, and I would absolutely love to edit it for you.
I'm a native English speaker with impeccable grammar skills. I also have a keen eye and ear for characterization, voice, flow, sentence structure, story arc, and plot. Perfect prose is my passion--I've edited more than twenty novels, screenplays, magazine articles, and business publications. I am currently a writer and staff copy editor with three local publications in my city, and I have worked as a newspaper journalist and editor. My BA is in English with a concentration in creative writing.
I typically charge between USD $.008 and .025/word, depending on how intensive the editing need is and what type of editing is desired. Your writing is good, so I wouldn't anticipate much time being needed on grammar and punctuation (although of course I'd give those my full attention); I see that you're interested in strengthening the plot and storyline, and I could provide feedback and ideas for you in that regard as well.