Business letter writing with a twist!?

Greetings! I hold a Bachelor of Business Administration and a Master of Business Administration degree and will provide for you original, compelling content for your assignment. I have created over 325 business plans, financial and marketing reports and Private Placement Memorandums in the past 10 years. My work is original, well researched and 100% completed by me, not subcontractors. I hold a Bachelor of Business Administration degree and a Master of Business Administration degree. I would very much like to work with you on this project and request that you contact me through www.freelancer.com to discuss specifics. Thank you in advance. Gregory Bair

Good Evening, My name is Sergio I. Cortes Jr. I am a U.S. based independent consulting professional and new freelancer.com platform user. My experience spans over fifteen years across many industries and business sectors in all aspects of accounting, finance, and management. I am very interested in contributing to your endeavor. Please disregard the bid amount. I would like to get more detailed compensation plan information via private message. I am looking forward to a long-lasting and mutually rewarding business relationship. Thanks and Regards

Hi, I will not say that I'm the perfect man for the job, but I can assure you you'll get the work well done. You'll be surprised by the high quality of my work... only if I was hired :)