Black Bird Jets takes you through the clouds
Even though the contest only requested two paragraphs, since I am an experienced article writer and I wanted to show the entirety of my work, I decided to create the whole article.
Papan Klarifikasi Publik
-
EnriqueOcampo
- 5 tahun yang lalu
Thanks for the feedback! Some of the info I added was taken directly from the websites to convey what they want to and at the same time give them a little publicity in their own words -which I assume in the real thing they would be paying for when it comes to an informative article-, but most of it I made it up myself. I'm sorry to hear about the “I”s and “We”s, because I added them to give the appearance of a personal luxury blog describing a personal experience. Do you want me to rewrite it to make it more informational than it is about the personal experience? Because I see that the contest closes today and I would really love to work with you.
Best regards!- 5 tahun yang lalu
-
Penyelenggara Kontes - 5 tahun yang lalu
Amazing presentation! Great job! I see you did research looking into the wineries to add a little information which is important. A reader for these articles would need to take away and learn something. The information that you added though, are those your own words or are they from the winery's website? I just want to check. One note I would say is talk about the personal experience, BUT make it a little more about the experience itself and what the reader could expect if they did it. I hope that makes sense. Less "I"'s and "we"s and more straight forward. Also don't worry too much about the actually times. I made the mistake of leaving the times in the schedule and I don't want you to think you need to include them. Great job though!!!
- 5 tahun yang lalu
